Busy, busy...

So i've missed a couple of days... surprisingly, just a couple, lol... i was doing so good!!  But i did think about it everytime.  I use Google Chrome as my web browser, so i have it set up that everytime i open it up, 3 pages pop up... hotmail, FB, and blogspot... so i think about it more... after all... it's meant for it to be like a diary right??

Anyway... i had to go back and read my blogs to see where i ended and what i've said...

So, we got a housing offer from Fairchild.  A 4 bedroom, 3 bath, living and family room, dining room... garage, basement, culdesack (how do you spell this word???LOL spell check did not work), across the street from the playground... perfect??  well it can be for the time being!!  I am greatful i go a house!!  But i get to move out of it next summer, lol... it's due for renovations!!  Oh well, better than nothing, and i don't have to rush to unpack EVERYTHING!!

So August 12th, we'll be taking Sarraya to Spokane to meet her Mom so she can go home... well, original plan was for me to drop her off and come back (to tacoma) and then go back out on the 26th and move... but with the budget...  and the HUGE pay cut we got since we're not getting COLA anymore... it's best i just do one trip!!  But on the downside... i just found out that i won't be getting my TMO until mid September.  That would be 3 1/2 months from the time it got packed out from Lajes... GEEZ!!  it's not like we have furniture or anything but it would be nice to have kitchen and clothes and bath stuff!! At least they have a loan closet i can get it from.  We have been living out of suitcase for the past 2 months and the same thing for the 2 months, and i only brought 1 pair of non-maternity jeans, lol... and not in the budget for me to shop which i don't want to... i want to lose weight then shop... but that's another story.  What I do have as far as furniture is a queen size bed and a washer and dryer... in storage... but that can take 30 days after i fill out paperwork, which would be on the 12th of August!!  So for about a month i will be living with no washer and dryer and 4 kids with a newborn, lol... what am i thinking!!  We'll see how it goes... i'm sure my friend won't mind me using her W/D every now and then... hope she has a TV i can borrow too but i was going to buy the boys one anyway so maybe i can fit that in the budget earlier than planned...**sigh**

Enough about that...

I had a photoshoot Friday evening!!  First one outside my friends and family and it was GREAT!!  I can't wait to finish proofing and editing it so I can get it up on my FB page... if you don't know about it... go to www.facebook.com/MaeBPhotography.

Today, or yesterday now... NaLysia is officially a month old and i took her to get some pics done!!  Along with the rest of the Berish clan, lol.  It was an experience... yes it was!!  Baby girl isn't fond of modeling, lol... and Ma'Kai isn't fond of sitting still... But we managed to get some good ones.

So after the pictures that took a couple of hours... no seriously... a couple of hours... lol... i let them play at the park.  Ma'Kai was a bit tired by this time and of course we parked on the other side of the park so it was a long walk back... no stroller either... he wasn't having it!!  He didn't want his brothers or sister... he wanted ME and only ME!!!  He didn't want to walk... he kept going limp... so walking back to the car with Ma'Kai on one arm and NaLysia in her car seat on the other arm!!  Quite a workout it was!!  Wish someone could have taken a pic of me too cuz it was a sight to see... but it finally hit me, right then and there... THAT was my reality!!!  Just me and my kids... single parenting it... for the next year... **sigh again**  I love my kids... i wouldn't change anything... i know me and i know what i can do... and this single parenting thing... is definitely one of them!!  If you know me... everyone calls me SuperMom and if it isn't the truth... i wouldn't be called it, lol... i am proud to be a Super Mom!!  My kids deserve nothing less...

Continued...

TO continue my story...

We went into the hospital Tuesday afternoon... it's now Thursday afternoon and we were hoping to be released by evening, if not early Friday... everything was good, everything normal, like it has been... but throughout all this she was poked and prodded so many times and woke up pretty much every hour or 2... and it seemed once i got her fed and settled and down in the bed... they came and woke her for something... poor baby.

She still slept and that's when she looked the most peaceful and i felt so bad that she kept having to get woke up. She was so exhausted that she had been doing for the last 2 days that she was barely awake.

 During one of her feedings in the middle of the night... her ivy came off of her head!!  Freaked me out, Michael was asleep and he jumped up to push the nurse's call button.  Kinda freaked both of us out... i didn't know if it hurt her or what but she wasn't crying nor was she bleeding everywhere!!  That worried me... so they replaced it on her hand, where it should have been in the first place, i think at least.

While she we were at the hostpital, Michael or I would go pick Ma'Kai up after lunch and keep him there until visiting hours were done or later... he was a great little boy.  For a 16 month old, he does so great everywhere we go, but then again... so did the other boys.  I was blessed with well behaved kids and i couldn't have asked for more.  He played and walked around the room, ate, napped,  watched tv, sang, whatever.... he didn't care, lol.  There was a playroom down the hall where we went a couple of times but not too often.   He loved going up and down the elevator whenever Michael went outside.  Matter of fact... they would go up and down the elevator 3-4 times before they would actually get off and Michael would have to force him out of it.  Found that out when i took him down, lol.  But everyday that he would come to visit sissy he would have to give her a hug and a kiss and sit or lay in the bed with her...  so sweet!!

He's doing great as  big brother.  Better than i expected but he still has his moments every now and then and it started when Michael left.  He's definitely daddy's boy but when Michael was here, it wasn't so bad... we split our time between the two... and Ma'Kai still had Mommy time... but when Michael left, of course it's a lot to take in for him... he's still a baby, my baby, and he just doesn't understand. =(  

So Thursday went by and early Friday morning came... still in the hostpital.  When i had NaLysia they told me not to be alarmed if i saw blood spotting in her diaper, it's like she's having a period, very normal.  I was seeing it, at one diaper a day... but at around 430am Friday i changed her and it was way more than what I have been seeing and it was a stringy clot and just to make sure i called the nurse to take a look.  With all the catheters they tried to do with no success AT ALL... i want to make sure THEY didn't hurt my baby and that she was ok.  But of course the nurse is not sure... and the residents weren't sure... and of course... of course... but shift change... the Dr. we get is not sure... WTF!!??  They want us to stay yet another night... it's Friday... we spent the whole week there.  So i'm pissed... why... cuz all week i never got a straight answer, no one knows anything... no one!!!  I want to take my baby out of the hospital to one that knows something.  

So by Friday late afternoon... (before shift change) the Dr. comes in with an OB dr. and another one... and they said that to them everything looks normal.  We should be good to go but the Dr. on call still wants us to stay.  She knew I was mad... i had attitude the entire time she spoke to me... so she comes back and hour later and gives me 2 choices.  She gets more blood from the baby and she gets an ultrasound and if everything looks normal we can go home and come back in the morning for another blood test or she does everything, stay until Saturday morning, gets another blood test and we can be out of there by 10am Saturday morning... by this point I was done with her, the hospital, the runaround... i miss my kids, my baby is ok... we are going home!!  I'll be back first thing in the morning.  So that's exactly what we do...

She's exactly one week old... I get to the hospital, she gets poked hopefully for the last time!!  Go see the Dr. and explain everything that's been going on because Dr.'s don't talk to each other... and she asks, "She got admitted for that??  They didn't need to do that.  They should have waited an hour and if was still high, come back the next morning for a follow up."  WHAT!!??  Seriously??  After everything that happened this week??  OMG!!  Then she kept shaking her head and after she's reads everything in her file and she asks, "So she never had a fever after her temp was taken down here??"  I say, "NO."  Then she says again, talking to herself, she shouldn't have been admitted or at least released by morning.  WHAT!!??  Again... seriously???  She proceeds to look at NaLysia and asks the usual questions... and says she's perfectly normal to me... but to make them happy, come back tomorrow.  And we did... and everything was fine..

Forgot to mention that during her US... she was so pissed and crying so much that she pooped everywhere (including me) and all i could think was ... "Well that's what she thinks of that... and all you people that keep messing with me!!"  LOL... But everything was normal during that US, they were looking at her uterus... 

So my baby is fine, everything happens for a reason... it was a scare but everything's fine. God wouldn't have put that on our plate if HE didn't think we could handle it.  I am relieved my baby girl is healthy and that's all we ask for.  We wanted Michael to stay a bit longer but obviously not for that reason but he did get to spend more time with his baby girl.  

Told you all it was a long story!!  A week in the hospital!!  I DISLIKE hospitals... 

A week of pain...

Not everyone know, i chose not to blast it on FB...

At NaLysia's 2 day well baby- (she was 3 days old), i took her in and she had a slight fever, 100.3.  I didn't think she was sick at all... she was eating, peeing, pooping, doing everything she should've been doing right.  I'm thinking she might have been as hot as she was because well... it was a HOT day and i put her into a HOT car, in a HOT carseat, and she cried the entire 15 minutes she was in the car seat... and she was wearing fleece pajamas... when we got to the clinic, i had to take her clothes off to a diaper and i wrapped her in a fleece blanket so she didn't get cold...

So from getting into the clinic and checking in and the nurse call us back and get vitals and all that... it was at least 5 minutes... my baby girl did NOT have time to cool off...  So now they're telling me that if her fever doesn't go down, she'll have to get admitted.  (Michael was leaving the next day... )  OMG!!! So they checked her temp again 15 minutes later and it was 100.2 then she comes back 5 minutes later, and 100.5 ( this is with the forehead scanner) .  I am hoping my baby is ok, but i really think everything that just happened... was why she was so hot!!  I have all kinds of emotions going through my head with NaLysia possibly being sick and Michael leaving the next day... i don't want to do this alone... i call him and tell him what's going on...

In the meantime, while i wait for him to come to hostpital... they start testing on baby... I was NOT going to leave my baby alone, no matter how hard it was for me to watch everything that was done to her!!  They tried and tried and tried... an on going 30-40 minutes to insert a catheter in her... with NO success!!  I was getting so frustrated because there was 4 of them and they were all saying things like "Do you see it??  Right there... i think"  "Is that it??"  "I can't see it."  "Wait right here."  Basically, they didn't know for sure but they were sticking her anyway... UGH!!!  She poked and prodded and blood taken... during all this of course I was an emotional wreck and I couldn't stop crying!!  At this point... I was still alone... =(  I didn't know what to do but hold my baby's hand!!  She screamed and screamed and all i could say was that, "it was ok, baby, mommy is right here."

Writing about this now, is bringing back emotions and i can't help but cry.

I'm jumping around and skipping some parts cuz this is already a long story....but Michael finally gets there as they get ready to take us upstairs to get admitted!!  By the time we get up there (1 hour later) her fever is gone, her temp is normal... but they're still admitting her for the next 48 hours.  Michael got a hold of someone and he had a week to be with us... So this was on a Tuesday...and by this time it was about 6pm... 48 hours!!The Dr. comes and explains everything... i'm still emotional... eyes about to be swollen shut due to all the crying... I won't leave my baby's side... we're still worried, we don't know what going on.  She's get started on her ivy... oh which btw way is on her little head...

Antibiotics are given and started... we still don't know whats wrong with her but just in case the antibiotics have been started. By this point my baby was finally peaceful and she was getting some much needed sleep without her being bothered.  That to be interrupted not too later... when they took her to get more testing done.  She was getting a spinal tap...We all decided that it was best that we not be in there for that one... and so Michael stayed in the room and waited while I left to get some fresh air.  I was really missing Ma'Kai so I went home to try to put him into bed... I held him and cried... and he knew something was wrong and that I was leaving again beacuse by 1130 pm, he still wasn't asleep and I went home at about 9.  I was so sad to leave him, I wanted to take him with me, but Michael told me to just come back and he would just fine with my Mom.  Gave all of them kisses and went back to the hospital.

They didn't get any fluid from the spinal tap and the next day they wanted to do it again... along with the stupid catheter... and still my baby is showing no signs of being sick... and to make it worse, everyone keeps saying she's doing great... everything looks normal... but we're still in the hostpital!!??  You still keep poking her, taking her blood... spinal taps, catheter...

to be continued... my baby needs me...

Progress..

I think we've made some progress!!

I went to McChord housing office today and had them fax Fairchild our housing application (that they should've already had... another story!!) along with orders and POA!!  I called them to make sure they received it and they told me that I should hear from them tomorrow.  If i don't get a phone call by 3:30... this chick is gonna be making some phone calls!!  I really need a house... like NOW!!!

1 room- me and 2 babies... and a room full of clothes in suit cases from 5 people just SUCKS!!!  Along with the things we've added and collected since end of May!!  It's just a bit tiring, lol... i am ready for structure and my kids are too... they may not want to go back to school or be back on schedule but Mommy needs it!!  ;P

Almost..

Almost forgot... i've been passing it up all day...

Not much to write.  No one threw up today.  (knock on wood) Although, the day did start with 2 crying, whiney babies... it got a bit overwhelming but i made it through it, lol...

I did get a chance to go to WIC office, finally... but unfortunately, i have to wait another 2 weeks before i get some for NaLysia.  I am just not the breasfeeding Mom... i don't have the patience nor the time.  It might have a lot to do with the fact that i don't get much to begin with so my babies are literally attached at all times.  20-30 minutes each side... then a break for about 20-30 minutes then it's back at it again.  Yea... this Mama just can't do it.  Especially with Ma'Kai as young as he is.

Another thing today... my freakin' laptop is 2 years old, the warranty just expired June 17, and i sent it in to get cleaned since there was nothing wrong with it.  Now of course that the warranty is expired and my laptop is deciding to act up.  It's plugged in, says it's plugged in... says it's charging... but it says 0% battery remaining!!  UGH... of course... hopefully a new battery will fix it.

Now to work on keeping NaLysia to sleep...

another Sunday....

Today was another beautiful day... what a beautiful weekend it was!!  Too bad my kids were sick throughout most of it.  Today, i got them out of the house... i was determined to, lol!!

I managed to get everyone ready and we left not too long after lunch time... and first stop was the park!!  They've been asking to go and i thought today was the perfect day.  Perfect weather and the kids weren't sick anymore.  So when we get there... i have Ayeanna take Ma'Kai out of the car and take him to the park while i work on putting my Moby wrap on and get NaLysia in it.

So 10 minutes... i am set, got it wrapped tight the way i like it, i got her in, i got my camera... i go to the kids... and they're sitting down in the shade!!  I told them i didn't take them to the park to sit... if it;s too hot, we're leaving.  And that we did... they're attitudes changed, they were sad to leave but no... we weren't just gonna sit there.  So i was going to take them home but i decided to take them to McDonald's... there we go ice cream and the played for a bit.

Afterwards, we went to visit my high school friend, Carol, and her family and hung out at their house for a little bit.  As many times as i come back to visit... somehow Carol and i never get the chance to get together... and i don't know why we don't make the time... we both have boys that pretty close in age and when we come here my boys don't have "friends" to play with... there's my BFFs nieces and of course girls...

It was a beautiful day! We hung out in the backyard while the kids played... like a typical filipino... they're feeding my tribe and trying to get me to eat, lol... it was nice.  That's what i like... that was how i like to spend my days, my weekends... friends talking, kids playing... i haven't had that since i've been back. I don't usually either.  I've become mature, a mother, and most of my friends are... but we live a completely different lifestyle these days.  I love them still... but they need to understand where I am coming from.

I like a few drinks here and there... but i am focused on my family.... and that's how it should be.  So they come first..

As the sun starts to set on this Sunday... the skies were so nice...

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I've been on a roll...

So i figured... since i'm remembering... i better not skip a day... ;P

Not much today.  No incidents... no puking... but TaShaun was still running a fever.  Another beautiful day and we didn't do anything.  I feel bad for the other kids but i don't want to have the sick kids miss out either... especially when all they can do is sit in bed anyway.  Well TaShaun at least cuz it's kinda hard to keep a 16 month old still, lol.

I ran a few errands and found a Kinko's... forgot about that place.  I made some print outs and forgot to make copies of course, lol... but i guess i can go back tomorrow because unlike "island" life... it's actually OPEN!!  HAHAHA... the little things that crack me up. ;P

But i went around trying to find a battery for my DLSR because i have a photoshoot tomorrow and couldn't find my freaking battery.  My fault... i should've put it back into the camera... but i didn't and i have spent the last 3 days looking for it!!  I looked online and amazon has it for less than $9... regular price was $24.99, so it said... i only looked at one.  So i went to Walmart first... figured, no hurt in trying, but no luck... and ended up at Best Buy.  I first found one for a Canon... ($69.99.. HELL NO!!) I kept looking, couldn't find any... asked someone... they didn't have any but referred me to Batteries Plus... so they have one... $39.99... ???  I don't want to spend that either... i thought i was gonna spend at least $25... and i didn't want to do that but after looking around for so long... i really changed my mind to pay no more than the $9 plus shipping... lol... so i came home.

Searched and searched again... as many times as i looked in the same places... it was in my purse where i looked several times already!!  What the heck??  LOL... glad i found it before i spent all that money on it.  i am going to buy that one on Amazon, since i am pursuing this photography... a back up battery isn;t a bad idea... especially since my battery died on me during my last shoot on Monday... luckily it was the end and they were my friends... pretty much family.

I am very excited to have my shoot tomorrow.  i am so very nervous... i hope i get my camera settings right... the weather cooperates... the light cooperates... all that.  My first set of clients that are NOT friends or family!!!  Wish me luck!!