I was also an emotional wreck last night!! Missing and needing my husband, a needy Love Bug, a sick Monkey, and they rest of 3 ducklings... were up, running around, wanting everything, and taddling all night long... so i just needed to take a moment to break down and let it out!!
Yes... i am SuperMom, but even super heros need a break...
It probably doesn't help that not only am i a single parent to 4 kids and 2 being only 15 months apart, both of whom are still needing Mommy more than ever... for the next year but i am living in a small room with my 2 babies... and all 5 of our belongings are in this itty bitty room with an itty bitty closet. Me being unprepared and not knowing and indecisive about where I am going once school starts!! Do I go to Spokane and be the independent person that I am or stay here and be half independent... meaning... i get out and get a house but i still have my parents to fall back on as far as babysitters. I just don't know... and i NEED to figure out!!
I want to work, i want to go to school, I want to be with my kids... but i know i can't do it all!! Well ... i can... i have been doing it for the last 7 years!! But this time around i don't have Michael to be there for my kids.
Since being here... and it's always like this when we are here but this time its different because we've been here for so long. Since we've been here the boys have lost structure and keeps forgetting the rules.... taking advantage of things, and outright losing their respect and manners towards others. They've become lazy and just doesn't want to do anything!! It is driving me nuts because this is NOT how i run the Berish household. But that's the issue... this isn't my house!! I am not always there to supervise them and because they're not always here or should i say have been so far away... the grandparents just let them get away with it... and i am not liking it. I state that and it just doesn't matter so therefore that frustrates me even more.
They have no schedule, they're playing to many video games, not going outside, eating too much junk, eating at all times of the day and night... arguing, not listening, taddling... OMG... i know life is peachy everyday... but this would not be happening like this if i had my OWN HOUSE!!!
I need to figure things out and act on it... i am getting way to stressed out and i don't have time for all that when i have these kids to take care of...
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| The kids helping him check his bags in... |
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| Right before getting on the plane... then it was tears... from Mommy at least... =*( |
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